Reading Aristotle’s description of friendship has really opened my eyes to the kinds of relationships I partake in. It seems rather clear to me that most of my friendships are based on a frail foundation, with me unfortunately contributing to a minimal amount of meaningful relationships.
I have found that friendships of utility are aplenty in my life since I am a young, ambitious college student, whom is attempting to further my career and livelihood. Not only is it imperative to have some sort of friendship with teachers and fellow peers, it is a downright necessity. Building relationships with teachers is necessary in order to have a full understanding of what is required to be successful in a given class. Furthermore, these teachers can even help me by writing me a recommendation for medical school that could better help me convince others of my abilities. Teachers have a wide range of utility. Having multiple friends within a classroom setting has also proven to be very useful because it allows for you to bounce ideas off your fellow classmates and gain information that you had failed to collect. College education is a difficult practice with questions abound, therefore it is helpful to have friends that I can confide in and question. Friendships of utility are further observed in confines of the various jobs I have had. When you are spending eight plus hours with a group of people, it is to your advantage to enjoy the company of those you are working with. As a Pre-med student I have only been able to work during the summer at anyplace that is willing to hire me, which has put me in a range of interesting situations. For example, last summer I worked at a car dealership where I was surrounded by a wide array of unique people. For the most part, I was forced to have friendly relationships with my coworkers, whom I vastly disagreed with on their decisions and actions. I was friends with most of these people for the sole purpose of my comfort. The relationships aforementioned were clearly friendships of utility because when I no longer was in a state of need from these people, our friendship swiftly dissipated.
Friendships of use have been prevalent in my life, but I have found that relationships for pleasure have covered a bulk of my friendships as well. When you ask your friends why they are indeed your friend, it seems that they tend to give some explanation as to why they enjoy being around you. They will stroke your ego by complimenting you, saying you make them laugh or compliment your ability to entertain them entertaining, but in all reality they give a self-serving reason as to why they are your friend. It is no secret that people are intrinsically narcissistic, so doesn’t it make sense that your friends are in a friendship with you for their own personal reasons? Friendships of pleasure are abundant in my life, but I believe a minute amount of these relationships are the causation of friendships of the good.
After reading Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics I became dismayed to come to the realization that I maybe (emphasis on maybe) had one or two friendships of the good. I began to wonder if I would even qualify to have this sort of relationship since I have yet to fully harness virtue. With the previous fact set aside, I have concluded that there are a very few amount of relationships that I can say I truly value and care for the well being of the other person in the relationship. It takes years and much needed effort to evolve a relationship from one of pleasure into one of the good. To get to the point where you can relate to and understand a person on such a level that you set aside personal motive for the other person takes a commitment that is unparalleled. Friendships of the good are a rare occurrence, but pay truly satisfying dividends. I will continue to keep in mind Aristotle’s assessment on friendship so that I can develop friendships that are the essence of good.
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I am definitely in denial now. Thinking back to our class discussion on friendship I totally denied the notion of friends of utility, however when looking at the whole picture of utility I have to refute my statement. In my head, nearly are my friendship thrive off utility to an extent.
ReplyDeleteI make friends for pleasure as ultimate pleasure for me rests in the ability to be around people. So you can say I am utilizing individuals in order to remain happy. With this said I can't imagine life without friendship, I feel that I try to hold on to my relationship as much as possible. Thus, I do not believe that the connection between my friends of utility and I have dissolved. I don't know its kind of hard to admit. Anyways I will write a blog post about this in term of my Philosophical Voyage.
I wonder if such a friendship of excellence is even possible?? Not to say it isn't beautiful to envision, but it seems as though it would require the perfect circumstances to exist. Two people who are so alike in virtue that they attain this perfect friendship where only good things come of it, it does not fade or falter, and each person is not self-serving but rather each seeks to become better and promote the well-being of the other seems to be almost impossible...especially today when we have less time for ourselves and much less for other people. I'd like to think that I can have that relationship though, and seeking it can surely not be a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if such a friendship is possible as well…..but I do think that the notion of a good friendship can help me in my current relationships to develop a much more substantial friendship. I found Aristotle particularly troubling because his philosophy seems nearly unobtainable. I wonder if one can even obtain a good friendship or the title of a moral exemplar. Aristotle seems to set up the masses for failure. Although I was troubled by Aristotle, I believe it can only help to practice his philosophy.
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